My parents used to say that you can’t ask God for more if you don’t take care of what you’ve already been given. We lived through the Depression where everything was worn out, used up and, even so, one would find a way to reinvent a use for almost anything.
I suppose that’s reason or excuse for allowing accumulation to engulf my home. After closing the estates of others, I know that there is much to be said for downsizing. And even after auctions and yard sales, I still brought home more “stuff” that held memory. I’ve come to understand that it’s not the physical that holds the memory, just that it allows the mind to recover it.
Letting go has never been easy for me. It’s the time of year when even trees let go of the old in preparation for the new. Knowing that I’ll likely be inside for a lengthy time during cold weather, this year I’m determined to let go of the accumulation of items no longer needed.
Sometimes that job seems overwhelming. There are so many places I’ve stuffed things, like I’ve stuffed feelings for years. Drawers are full to the point of being difficult to open. Closets are cluttered until I can’t find something that I know is in there.
I’ve started with my sewing cupboard where there are projects stashed that I always thought I’d get done. Does anyone still embroider? There’s that shirt that no longer fits, but the lace is magnificent. Will I ever get it repurposed I asked myself.? The answer was not affirmative. I pulled out the baby quilt I started when my son was born and I finish it even though I’m not sure anyone will want it. The temptation to put most things back tugs me. The goal to make room for something new prods me forward. There are things in this space that I don’t even remember having and can’t imagine where they came from.
Next came my office, where old tape recordings from seminars I’d given or attended are stored. I doubt I can even find the player. A box of old John Wayne movies sits in a corner with another full of music cassettes. Newer technology isn’t useful for these either. Bookshelves are full of dog books that I know my kids will never read, and since I’ve retired, I doubt I’ll need them for reference. Who uses carbon paper? There’s a new box in a drawer. Hanging file folders just take up space. I’m praying for patience and strength as I wonder how I let this happen and try to make necessary adjustments.
Purses hang on a rack. I just counted. There are 15, most never used, while others have worn straps because they were my temporary favorite. Some are small and beaded, others huge and used for travel. How many should I keep? Decisions need to be made, but it’s so easy to put them off. What woman doesn’t like purses and shoes?
If you have collections of value, it might be time to label them. Mark old photos with dates, places, meaning and the names of people. If you’re reading this and are closing an estate, please think twice about discarding old ledgers, obituary books, family tree records or other written documents. I did that in my early years and now that my older blood relatives are gone, there are so many questions that can’t be answered that could have been found therein. Family history seems to have more value as one ages. Some things are worth keeping.
I promise I’m trying to sort this all out. Sometimes you just dig yourself a hole so deep that you can’t see daylight. I swear there’s buried treasure here somewhere.
Kids, if you don’t find it, sell it all by the pound. You will probably come out ahead.
Christiansen lives in Lewiston. She can be reached at petpal535@gmail.com.
