The trouble with omnivores

This column originally was published in the Tribune on March 25, 2002.

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I received a most interesting package in the mail. It felt like it was full of rocks.

Veterinarians receive tons of junk mail with promotional free samples of stuff that is guaranteed to cure everything from saddle sores to ringtail. I usually don't open them myself. But this package was different. I opened it. I was full of rocks.

Abby, a 10-month-old chocolate Lab, has a big, fenced back yard framed in river rock. She has taken to eating the rocks.

In the bedroom one night she barfed up six of them, ranging from an inch to two inches across. Her owners packaged them up and mailed them to me with a plea for help.

Max is a golden retriever puppy about the same age as Abby. Max has acquired a more kinky taste. He likes to eat underwear. His family includes kids who are sometimes a little careless about leaving clothing on the floor. Imagine that! More than once Max has barfed up socks and panties.

My advice to these people? Buy pet health insurance!

It would also be good to get rid of the river rocks in Abby's back yard and the socks and underwear on the floor in Max's house. And behavior modification might help. But altering the behavior of children to the extent that they will reliably refrain from ever leaving socks and underwear within the reach of a big dog is probably beyond the scope of any humane behavior modification techniques. And it would probably be equally difficult to convince Abby or Max to kick their habits.

All dogs are curious omnivores - everything is for eating until proven otherwise - and house pets have lots of "time on their paws." This combination can spell trouble.

The attraction can be fatal. My brother-in-law Joe in California saw Duke, his German short-haired pointer, barf up some socks. Duke had eaten socks and underwear since he was a puppy and though he was sometimes off his feed for a day or two, he had always either barfed them up or passed them out in the back yard. This time Duke gradually got sicker, and eventually wound up in surgery. But the damage to his intestinal tract was too great. Duke didn't make it.

We've had other recent cases, like Deacon, a poodle who swallowed a fishhook, and Chip, a cocker spaniel who swallowed a small nail. And in a recent journal I read of a hungry stray dog who had eaten an entire soft drink bottle, in pieces, and managed, with only a little veterinary help "at the end," to pass it. But these types of things are usually isolated incidents. They're different from the obsessive rocks or

underwear habits of Abby, Max and Duke.

I don't know of any practical things you can do to break a dog of this type of compulsive eating habit. You just have to do everything possible to deprive him of the opportunity. You should be aware that even though he may pass most of the stuff with no serious trouble, if he has serious trouble, the onset may be insidious - maybe vomiting, maybe just loss of appetite. And waiting too long for veterinary help may be disastrous.

And with such a dog, a good pet health insurance policy may be a good investment, bearing in mind that they will likely cancel your policy if it becomes apparent that your dog is hooked on rocks or socks and underwear.

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Roen is a retired Clarkston veterinarian whose columns were published weekly in the Lewiston Tribune for more than 30 years. He may be contacted at jazzvet@cableone.net.