HOWE OWNS UP TO SUBSTANCE ABUSE PROBLEMS SUSPENDED MAJOR LEAGUE PITCHER BLAMES HIMSELF FOR PERMANENT BAN FROM BASEBALL

MOSCOW Former New York Yankees relief pitcher Steve Howe had no excuses for his mistakes with cocaine and alcohol.

He simply blamed himself.

Suspended seven times from major league baseball because of his recurring drug problem, Howe spoke candidly to members of a University of Idaho fraternity on Thursday night.

''I was angry because I couldn't control my drug problem,'' said Howe to members of Pi Kappa Alpha. ''I could rationalize my problem by blaming someone else when there were adverse consequences to my behavior.''

Although Howe was permanently banned from baseball by commissioner Fay Vincent in July of this year, he hasn't let that deter him from getting his message to young people.

''Drugs and alcohol will take away your dream and self-esteem faster than anything,'' said Howe.

Howe knows all too well what drugs can do to dreams.

After being a two-time all-American pitcher at the University of Michigan, Howe took his act to the big leagues in 1979 when the Los Angeles Dodgers drafted him in the first round.

The Dodgers looked like geniuses after he capped an outstanding rookie campaign with the 1980 National League Rookie of the Year award.

In 1981, Howe helped the Dodgers win a world championship in a memorable six-game series with the Yankees. Howe said that his personal highlight was striking out Reggie Jackson after Jackson had hit a home run and taunted him in the media.

''Reggie had hit a homer off me in Los Angeles, but he told the papers that he hit a fastball off me,'' said Howe. ''It was a hanging slider and not a fastball, so when I struck him out in New York, I yelled to him that now he had seen my fastball.''

Howe continued his brilliance in 1982 by being named to the 1982 National League all-star team. However, the drug problem that had started at a college bachelor party was beginning to take its toll.

He started having problems with former commissioner Bowie Kuhn, and he become a headache for the Dodgers as well. The Dodgers traded him in 1985, and he bounced around the league before finding a home with the Yankees.

During this time, Howe admitted to being in and out of treatment centers, but he couldn't break his habit. The breaking point came at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in 1989.

Howe said the group was talking about blackouts and alcoholics who could remember where they hid their bottle.

''It suddenly hit me that it was me they were talking about because I could remember where my stash was,'' said Howe. ''I went home and in front of my wife, I flushed it down the toilet.''

Now that his drug problem is under control, Howe gives the impression that he is ready to return to the majors. Although he refused comment on his ban, he did say that he is currently appealing the decision. For now, he said he hopes that kids take his message seriously.

Howe's visit, which he said was voluntary and unrelated to his legal matters, was in response to an invitation from acquaintances at the fraternity.

Pi Kappa Alpha member Troy Allen, who was plunked in the thigh by a Howe sinker during a throw-around before his speech, said that Howe's message certainly got through.

''Yeah, it was an unforgettable experience to play catch with a pro baseball player and get hit too,'' said Allen as he clutched an autographed ball from Howe. ''But it was the fact that he didn't make any excuses for himself that impressed me the most.''

Howe left members of the fraternity with some worldly advice.

''I've made mistakes that have cost me dearly but I never quit,'' said Howe. ''I always believed in myself, and I still do.''