Looking for love, or friendship, in all the right places

IDAHO FALLS- Senia Weinrich's husband died a year and a half ago, leaving her alone for the first time in many years.

At first, she wasn't ready to go out, but by March she decided she needed to get out and meet new people.

"The weekends are the hardest," she said.

A friend introduced her to Southeast Idaho Singles, a nonprofit group that hosts a variety of weekly events to encourage single people, particularly those 40 and older, to meet and mingle with peers.

"I think it helps because otherwise you get so lonely and depressed," Weinrich said. "I just felt more whole being able to meet people."

Southeast Idaho Singles, which has been around off and on since 1994, has about 70 members, but that number has grown to as many as 200 at times.

"A lot of times, single people don't go out because they don't want to go somewhere alone," said Carolin Glendenning, first vice president of Southeast Idaho Singles.

Glendenning moved to Idaho Falls in 2010 when she got a job at Idaho National Laboratory. She heard about Southeast Idaho Singles through a friend and got involved in the group. She was drawn to the variety of activities offered, which ranges from concerts and art events to outdoor activities such as four-wheeling, skiing and visiting the local hot springs.

"It's definitely more of a social club than a dating club. People who come looking for hookups usually don't come back, but people do meet and date and even marry through the club," she said.

The group tries to keep activities varied to encourage more people to attend. So, someone who might not enjoy dancing still can meet other local singles for a game of pinochle, for example.

"Winter, you get cabin fever and get a little depressed. It's nice to get out," said Mike Hogan, president of Southeast Idaho Singles. "A lot of members are divorced or widowed. Lots of people deal with tragedy besides loneliness."

In 2013, the U.S. Census Bureau reported 9,913 unmarried people, from 20 to 54 years old, living in Idaho Falls. That represents more than 17 percent of the population. While more than half of single people are between 20 and 34 years old, the second largest demographic group is 45 to 54 - a total of 2,468 people.

"I have some clients who live there (in Idaho Falls). If they're not Mormon, it's really hard," said Bobbi Palmer, founder of datelikeagrownup.com.

Palmer has been a dating and relationship coach for eight years, specializing in helping single women 40 and older. She has written a book, provided one-on-one counseling and workshops for people nationwide to help them figure out the art of middle-aged dating.

"Chemistry is for teenagers. It's not for grown-ups looking for a partnership," she said. "(People who look for instant chemistry with a partner) don't understand that they're dating grown-ups and don't give them the respect and empathy they deserve."

Idaho Falls has some unique challenges for over-40 singles, in part, because it is home to a large number of people with advanced education thanks to its largest employer, Idaho National Laboratory.

Educated people tend to be worse at dating because they fixate on intellect, Palmer said. Many refuse to date someone who lacks a college degree, and small talk tends to focus on work.