Clarkston couple send care packages to parents at hospital

A Clarkston couple who suffered the heartbreaking loss of their firstborn child two months ago is helping other parents who unexpectedly wind up at a neonatal intensive care unit feeling exhausted, terrified and unprepared.

Codi Brandt, 23, and Shelby Ward, 25, were in shock Feb. 21 when they learned their hours-old newborn was being flown to Spokane with hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy, brain damage caused by oxygen deprivation. They spent the next 10 days at Providence Sacred Heart Medical Center with their son, Jackson Peter Ward, who died March 3.

“We had no idea how bad it was,” Brandt said. “He never cried, never opened his eyes. Four days went by before I could hold him. The nightmare got worse when they sat us down and told us he had no brain activity.”

Brandt had packed a few items for what she thought would be a routine birth, never expecting to be away from home under such dire circumstances. She saw other frantic people arriving with no personal belongings and realized there was something she and Ward could do for parents in similar situations.

The couple began collecting “survival kit” items, such as dry shampoo, deodorant and mouthwash, to deliver to Sacred Heart. The list includes books and toys for children in the waiting room, along with personal hygiene items for women who have just given birth and care items for men.

“Our mission is to make it easier on other parents, if we can,” Brandt said. “You’re in complete shock when you get there and you usually don’t have basic necessities.”

Nurse Kathy Dennis, who has worked in the Sacred Heart unit for almost 34 years, said the care packages now arriving from the Lewiston-Clarkston Valley are like “little boxes of heaven.”

“Very rarely is a trip to the NICU on anyone’s birth plan,” Dennis said. “When someone climbs onto a helicopter or fixed-wing plane with their baby, they arrive here in the midst of a crisis, and many parents don’t have a toothbrush or even change for snacks in the vending machines. Through these care kits, Codi and Shelby are putting their grief into a positive action. They are so kind and compassionate, and this speaks volumes to their characters.”

In each box, Brandt and Ward includes a letter to people like them who were hoping for an easy delivery and healthy newborn. She hopes their heartfelt words offer a ray of hope and comfort.

“You’re likely feeling overwhelmed with all the doctor talk, emotional seeing your baby, and not able to process thoughts in your head,” she wrote. “Having been there ourselves, we’re here to tell you that you are not alone.”

Every day is a roller coaster in the NICU, Brandt said. She advises parents to take “tons of pictures,” and write everything down, including details about the day and every milestone, big or small.

After life support was removed from Jackson, the family moved to the angel room, where they could spend precious last moments with their baby. They were able to hold their son, give him a bath and dress him in the clothes they had planned to bring him home in.

“The NICU staff is the greatest group of people you never want to meet,” Brandt said. “They were incredibly compassionate.”

“This family suffered a huge loss,” Dennis said. “Everyone works through their grief differently, and they are working through theirs in a very kind way. They also have some really good grandparents behind them, which is a big help. It’s too hard to do this alone.”

Brandt’s mother, Katie Huddleston of Lewiston, spent many sleepless nights at the hospital so her daughter could get some rest at the end of long, hard days.

“I had to play the mom card and assure her I would stay by his side while she slept,” Huddleston said. “I sang to him, played music for him and loved on him. I’m so glad I got to spend those nights with him.”

The family is clinging to photographs, a recording of his heartbeat and fresh tattoos of his footprints, Huddleston said, but helping others in his name will create a lasting legacy.

“We want to remember him,” she said.

Brandt and Ward said their employer, Harry Ritchie’s Jewelers, has been outstanding through the tragedy. Brandt works at the Lewiston Center Mall store, and Ward is employed at the Moscow outlet. They are accepting items for the care packages at both locations.

In addition, a GoFundMe account has been set up and a direct message through the “Jackson Peter Ward Strong” Facebook page is a good way to reach them.

Their efforts are making a difference at Sacred Heart, a hospital spokesperson said.

“When an infant is admitted to the neonatal intensive care unit, it can happen abruptly and leave parents with little time to plan,” said Joyce May-Cameron, chief philanthropy officer for the Providence Health Care Foundation.

“It’s not uncommon for them to arrive without basic necessities. The NICU survival kits allow parents to focus on their infant’s care and not worry about the basic hygiene essentials they may have left behind. We appreciate the Ward family’s thoughtful efforts to fulfill an unmet need.”

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Sandaine may be contacted at kerris@lmtribune.com or (208) 848-2264. Follow her on Twitter @newsfromkerri.