I have friends who still send real Christmas cards, bless their pea-pickin’ hearts.
Real Christmas cards usually involve a handwritten note or at least a signature — something that is as rare these days as figgy pudding. By the way, who knows what figgy pudding is? And why do we sing about it when nobody’s ever eaten it? Cheesecake, yes. Figgy pudding — no idea.
Back to my point: Younger, tech-smart people these days, if they send Christmas greetings at all, usually deliver them by email, or worse, text. “MC, HH, & HK” is the greeting on your cellphone. Whatever the heck that means. Another figgy pudding mystery.
Years ago, I used to receive and send bundles of Christmas cards. I’d string them on a shiny strand of garland around the dining room and the kids and I would get hours of enjoyment reading them all and remembering all those who remembered us.
Somewhere along the line people stopped sending so many cards. Postage became expensive and, of course, lots of the senders died. Not because of Christmas cards, but, you know, that happens. Possibly figgy pudding poisoning, but I hope not.
I had saved all those Christmas cards from years past, storing them in manilla envelopes with the years they were received marked on the cover. Over time there were boxes and boxes of old cards and I finally decided that I needed to pare down the collection. I went through the old cards, intending to discard all those that weren’t from my family, long past, or old friends or just people I knew and appreciated. OK, so I didn’t actually get rid of anything except the cards from my bank and my insurance company. And I even saved a couple of those that were artistic or funny.
So I still have a stack of old Christmas cards that I, apparently, cannot get rid of. Just one more thing for my kids to worry about after I die.
On the other hand, Christmas is all about tradition, which, translated, means “nostalgia.” Why else do we hang onto the old cards and decorations and bric-a-brac that is faded and falling apart but reminds us of days gone by and people we miss?
In spite of my failure to eliminate old Christmas cards I was determined to sort through the boxes of old ornaments that have taken up enough space in my garage for a new car. Everything that mice have chewed on goes to the trash, I thought. Every cracked glass bulb and all of that old tinsel that probably was made out of something toxic that contributes to climate change.
But how about that construction paper chain the kids made in fourth grade? What about the crocheted heavenly angel Auntie Alma gave me that looks more like a fallen angel? And what about the plaster of paris handprint that the kids formed in Sunday school that weighs about five pounds and bends over the Christmas tree trunk like an old man with scoliosis?
I guess there are plenty of ways to make Christmas more efficient and economical. Sending texts rather than real cards and buying fake trees already decorated are a couple of those ideas. But what’s the point?
Hedberg may be contacted at khedberg@lmtribune.com.
