I was a daddy’s girl. I knew he loved me and I trusted him. He was big and strong. He often put me on his shoulders when we were downtown. I was so high, I could see the entire main street from up there. I love to see daddies with little ones riding on their shoulders. What a great way to build trust.
I often sat on Daddy’s lap in his big homemade rocking chair as we sang his favorite songs: “Froggy Went a Courtin’,” “Clementine,” “It Ain’t Gonna Rain No More,” “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad” and “You are My Sunshine.” We rocked and sang and sang and sang. The louder we sang, the harder he rocked. Mama was in the kitchen one day, when she heard a crash. The rocker, sitting in the corner of the living room, had gone over backwards. Daddy and I were upside down, trapped in the corner — laughing. My response? “Do it again, Daddy.”
Why wasn’t I afraid? Because I trusted him. He kept me safe.
Learning to trust builds through life experiences, people we encounter, the proof of honesty and belief in being safe. It’s the confidence that I can depend on others. It banishes fear.
As I left the fair pavilion, I heard a great roar from above. A glance up stopped me in my tracks. A humongous plane flew overhead so close to the ground, I was sure if I climbed the closest tree to the top, I could reach up and touch it. It moved slowly over us, in a circle maneuver. How can it be so low and so slow and still be in the air? Fascinated, I gawked until it was out of sight. Why didn’t I run for cover? Because I trusted the pilot knew what he was doing. I found out later they were “practicing” at our airport. The new pilot was building my trust in his abilities.
Every day when I get in my car, I trust it will start, I will arrive at my destination and I will be safe. I must do my best to be a trusted driver, but I have no control over other drivers. I simply must trust they will follow the rules and keep me safe, too. My dictionary says that trust is “the assured reliance on the character, strength or truth of someone or something.”
We trust that our lights will work, we’ll have water when we turn on the faucet and the heat will be on in our houses. What a letdown it was when the gas pipe was ruptured and many of us were without a heat source. We trusted the power company to fix the problem.
Trust is fragile. Life happens; it hurts, it breaks, it upends. One moment can tear our trust into shreds and leave us in tears and insecurity. Whether it’s intentional or accidental, once trust is broken it takes years to rebuild and sometimes it can never be repaired. Trust is a task we must intentionally work hard on. To be a trusted person you have to be repeatedly proven.
Counselors and therapists have popped up everywhere. More are needed to provide a safe place for the distrusting to start rebuilding. A program called Stephen Ministry at my church exists specifically for people in the congregation going through a hard place to have a trained, trustworthy person listen to them.
When I was growing up, a person’s word or handshake could be trusted in an agreement. People depended on each other as a means of survival. They gave themselves to friends and neighbors in trust. Modern living places doubt in people and transfers trust to things. We distrust, isolate, become angry and insecure.
The new year will bring more of the same. Only God can be trusted explicitly. We are so imperfect. The only way we can bring change is by making a sincere effort to be trustworthy.
Trust grows in community, communication and commitment underlaid with sincere caring for others. I trust you will take the challenge to make this a trust-building year.
Chase Hoseley is a freelance writer and retired kindergarten teacher who lives in Clarkston. She can be reached at shoseley8@gmail.com.
