Dennis Ohrtman keeps a list of 40 people he tries to visit each month with either a phone call, a home visit or taking them out for a meal or coffee.
Some of them have lost loved ones, and the connection helps them get “back into the mainstream of fun when life isn’t for them at the moment,” he said.
The people who are on Ohrtman’s list are valued friends, some of whom he has known for five decades.
Ohrtman, 75, of Lewiston, who is the Region II commissioner for the Idaho Commission on Aging, attended a recent meeting with the Idaho Commission on Aging, during which he listened to a presentation that inspired him.
The topic was loneliness. Ohrtman’s way of processing the information was to write a poem (it is on Page 9).
“It’s kind of a downer poem until you get to the end, and the message is fairly simple,” he said: All it takes to rescue someone from their loneliness is making a phone call.
Ohrtman said people can become disconnected from friends, and excuses are made that prevent people from reaching out.
“(The poem) reminds me we can’t do that,” Ohrtman said.
LONELINESS IS WIDESPREAD, HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
Next month, the Commission on Aging will focus on the problem of loneliness among seniors, and the group is encouraging people to reach out to those in need.
Harriet Pea, long term care ombudsman, for the Area Agency on Aging of North Central Idaho, highlighted isolation as a key issue for seniors.
“It’s such a huge problem, recognizing the needs of seniors, especially in rural areas,” Pea said. “Loneliness is the single biggest issue for our seniors.”
She said social ties help lessen depression and reduce the likelihood of developing dementia by helping build and maintain brain connections.
For seniors struggling with loneliness, the COVID-19 pandemic made the situation worse by curtailing in-person visits.
To protect residents’ health, nursing homes closed their doors to family and friends. Meals on Wheels delivery volunteers no longer had face-to-face contact with clients. Seniors and volunteers in those programs are still working back to a sense of “normal.”
“Depression was huge for people,” Ohrtman said. “Battling the way out of that and back to normal society is our goal.”
TAKING A BITE OUT OF ISOLATION
During the pandemic, Ohrtman continued reaching out to the people on his list by writing monthly notes of encouragement. But he was advocating for seniors long before he became one himself. He helped start the Meals on Wheels program in Lewiston in 1974 after he moved to the valley in 1969, and shortly after the area’s senior nutrition program was launched.
“We’ve never been enemies. We have needed both programs,” Ohrtman said. “We have needed everybody who can serve food and serve kindness.”
Both programs not only aim to meet seniors’ physical needs but also provide a way for seniors to connect. Meals on Wheels gives people someone to talk with every week, and the senior nutrition program offers meal sites where people can come together to eat, visit and play games.
“It gives them a little bit of life,” Ohrtman said.
The Area Agency on Aging also offers communal dinners at various centers in the region where seniors can dine (site locations are listed on Page XX).
“It’s the most key program we have,” Pea said, alluding to how the program meets two needs at once. “It’s a great way to just get out and sit and talk to others, so take advantage of it.”
MIX & MINGLE
Other important avenues for socializing can include church, meeting with longtime or new friends or groups with similar interests.
Pea suggested taking classes and doing activities at area libraries, which gives participants a chance to learn something new while interacting with others.
Seniors who are more comfortable with technology can join online activity and support groups. Those are a good option for homebound people since meetings are held virtually — all it requires is WiFi and basic technology skills.
“You name it, if you have a hobby you can find a group that meets on Zoom or FaceTime,” Pea said.
Pea uses these resources herself; she belongs to a sewing group on Facebook.
“I have found those groups to be tremendously conversational,” she said. “I can share my projects with the group, and people comment and share tips.”
Pinterest is another resource she recommends for tech-savvy seniors that center around hobbies. She said men might consider joining groups focused on woodworking or hunting on Pinterest or other web-based groups.
In-person activities can include organized events or more casual get-togethers.
Various retirement and coffee groups meet in the Lewiston-Clarkston Valley. Ohrtman gathers with a retired teachers group that encourages each other through difficulties, tells “old war stories” and plans celebrations.
“We realize we’re not dead,” Ohrtman said. “We have fun together and can do things together.”
Ohrtman names Mystic Cafe and Rosauers as two popular gathering spots in Lewiston where seniors meet over coffee throughout the week. The coffee klatches include peers from high school days getting together and more casual groupings, many without any specific affiliation. The groups represent “every sector of society,” Ohrtman said. “It’s been an open invitation. There’s so much variety, there’s going to be a friend around.”
HOW TO HELP
For those who want to make sure their senior loved ones are interacting, they can offer one key service: driving.
“The most common thing that prevents seniors from getting out and socializing is lack of ability to drive,” Pea said.
But even a phone call to check in and chat can help alleviate loneliness.
“Very simple things make such a huge difference,” Pea said.
For Ohrtman, when it comes to helping seniors, he gets more than he gives. He sums it up with this piece of wisdom from an older friend: “Everything I give away I get back tenfold.”
“It’s a whole new set of friends,” Ohrtman said. “Meals are really secondary to the friendships.”
Ohrtman has passed along the joy of delivering meals to his children and grandchildren, making it a family tradition. So have many others who volunteer for the meal programs. But more helpers are welcome, as many people remain on waiting lists in both programs.
“Every once in a while they hit hard times (when there is a shortage of volunteers), then they have good times,” Ohrtman said.
“The real excitement in this valley is people are tremendously generous, that makes all of these programs possible.”
More information on resources for seniors or how to volunteer is available by calling the Area Agency on Aging at (208) 743-5580; and a list of volunteer opportunities is on Page XX.
“Loneliness is the single biggest issue for our seniors.”
– Harriet Pea, long term care ombudsman, for the Area Agency on Aging of North Central Idaho
RESCUE ME FROM LONELINESS ISLAND
It is not fun to be isolated on an island so lonely.
I got stranded here before I was ready,
when my hands were no longer steady.
When I was young, life was a “full meal deal.”
Here loneliness is real, but it has little appeal.
Here some get old with resignation;
some get old with weary anticipation.
How did I know…
that recliners and remotes wouldn’t talk?
that my run would slow to a walk?
that downtown stores would assume
that I could easily stand or walk?
that electronics and meds would attack my budget?
that friends would yield life to a heavenly trumpet?
that friends who used to knock at the door
seldom visit anymore?
that we would mask feelings and faces
as we measure our paces?
that partners more hours would sleep
and more doctors’ appointments would keep?
that rather than exploring life’s estuaries,
I’d be reading more too-close-to-home obituaries?
that my car keys by the chimney be hung
in hopes that the Uber soon would come?
that my children would have their own lives to expand
while here on this island alone I stand?
Oh, Lord, let me off Loneliness Island. I may be old
But I’m not gone;
I’m not done.
I have plenty to offer—
My wisdom and patience I’m willing to proffer.
Oh, Friend, if you have a minute, an hour,
Rescue me as I stand on this island so lonely
AND
Our mutual spirits
will tower and empower
if you just give me a minute, an hour.
