I get it that we're all supposed to stock up on food, water, candles and other supplies that can tide us over in case of disaster, as emergency preparedness experts are always telling us.
What I don't get is what we're supposed to stock up on.
Emergency lists suggest things like peanut butter, crackers, beans, dried fruit and tuna fish.
I don't know about you, but if I had to live on that stuff alone for weeks I think I'd rather die in the disaster.
People need variety in their diets, especially Americans who have been born and bred - as we all have now for a couple of generations - on fast food.
That is why, during the snowstorm that dumped tons of unexpected precipitation in downtown Portland, Ore., last weekend, paralyzing the city and working its tiny army of snow plows almost plum to death, there was a run on frozen pizzas and tater tots.
I know this because when I went to the local grocery store (against the warnings of the TV news announcers who advised everybody in Portland to stay home), I could not find any frozen pizzas or tater tots in the store's frozen section.
I stood around the open door of the cooler along with four or five other forlorn-looking adults, staring at the empty shelves with a sense of utter desolation.
We were silent for several moments and then one guy said: "No tater tots. No pizza. What's this world coming to?"
Suddenly those words snapped me out of my funk. Wait a second, I thought. I am a descendant of hardy American pioneers who traveled from the Deep South to Idaho in a covered wagon along with seven children, two oxen, a tall Shanghai rooster and one spotted hog.
My great-great-grandparents weathered many hardships and deprivations and never once resorted to frozen pizza or tater tots. And if they could do it, so could I.
Sometimes I fear that we have gotten soft. Especially those of us living in the West who are not too far removed from the days when people had to live by their wits and make do with little or nothing to eat.
I remember reading in a local history book about the early settlers around Kooskia and Harpster who survived their first winters on cabbage alone. Which may explain all the fog down there that persists to this day.
These days people can hardly conceive of not having bins of all varieties of food from around the planet. We think nothing of eating fresh fruit in the middle of winter or hard-to-get seafood on a typical night after work.
I turned away from the empty tater tots and frozen pizza cooler and made my way through the store, picking up more practical items to take home to feed my family. There was a blizzard outside but we'd survive somehow, by golly.
"So what's with all the peanut butter, Mom?" they asked when I unloaded the grocery sacks.
We waited out the storm and went out to eat at a restaurant.
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Hedberg may be contacted at kathyhedberg@gmail.com or (208) 983-2326.
