Items in this column are pulled from police logs from around the region.

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A Clarkston resident reported someone stole his empty trash can and threw it into a neighbor’s yard. This happened to be the same time a storm struck the region and stripped trees of branches and blew around many objects that weren’t nailed down. The Clarkston man was adamant, however, that the storm was not responsible for blowing his trash can next door. An officer responded and determined the storm was at fault.

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A man was reported hacking at trees with a machete on the 400 block of D Street in Lewiston. Police contacted the man and told him he can’t trim the trees with a machete. He left when asked and no damage was reported.

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A Lewiston man was reported walking down the 800 block of Burrell Avenue wearing only his underwear. Police couldn’t locate the underdressed man or anyone under duress about witnessing the scene.

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A Lewiston man called 911 after his son’s girlfriend kicked in the door and started doing her laundry at the man’s home. There was no burglary so police couldn’t find any crimes that laundromattered.

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A man checked into a Lewiston motel and claimed to be an undercover U.S. marshal, but he lives in Great Britain. The man told the motel clerk he was after a homicidal maniac/child molester. Police tried to contact the man, but he left without performing any law enforcing.

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A Clarkston woman showed up at St. Joseph Regional Medical Center with three small stab wounds. Police interviewed her and learned the 39-year-old woman had been “practicing” with a 2-foot-long sword and accidentally stabbed herself in the abdomen while swinging it around. The woman then fell and stabbed herself again. The woman was treated and released for three shallow stab wounds and advised not to challenge any Highlanders anytime soon. Reports didn’t say how she got the third wound or if it was scabbard over. Reports also didn’t say what type of sword she had or if she was trying to summon He-Man by the power of Grayskull.

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A Lewiston woman was concerned after finding a vial of mysterious liquid in front of her mailbox at her Powers Avenue home. Police responded and determined it was a used e-cigarette cartridge and disposed of it.

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A Lewiston resident reported someone broke into her home on Eighth Avenue, used the bathroom and left wet towels on the floor. Police investigated and determined the woman’s doorknob is loose, indicating how the bathroom burglar toi-let himself in. Nothing was missing.

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A Lewiston resident reported someone has been ringing his doorbell in the middle of the night for the past three months.

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A Moscow woman called 911 asking for advice. She reported another woman is mad at the caller because the caller was “set up to sleep with (the other woman’s) husband.” The caller also informed dispatch she was drunk and didn’t know where she was at. Police could not locate the woman.

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A Moscow man called 911 reporting his roommate is playing video games loudly and preventing the caller from studying or sleeping.

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A 911 caller reported hearing a woman “screaming at the top of her lungs” on the 1400 block of West A Street in Moscow. Police responded and discovered a person was watching a horror movie.

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A Moscow man was fed up and after 18 years decided to call 911. He reported his neighbor has been feeding squirrels for almost two decades and now the bushy-tailed fiends were damaging his property. The man put up with the rodents for some time but now it was time for a s-quarrel.

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A raccoon was reported stuck in a fence on the 1000 block of Northeast Lake Street in Pullman. An officer responded and freed the animal, because even though it looks like a burglar, the fuzzy critter didn’t deserve to be incarcerated.

Holm may be contacted at (208) 848-2275 or tholm@lmtribune.com. Follow him on Twitter @TomHolm4.

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