Police plumbers put skills to bear on faulty faucet

Tom Holm

Items in this column are pulled from police blotters from around the region.

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A Lewiston woman called 911 reporting she couldn’t turn off the water faucet in her bathtub. An officer responded and turned off the water. Reports didn’t say if the woman thanked her police plumbers or used the opportunity for that terrible Dwayne the bathtub knock knock joke.

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A bear was reported “getting into things” on Reservation Line Road near Grangeville. It was decidedly not the bear necessities.

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A Nez Perce County Jail inmate was cited for petty theft after he reportedly stole 69 packets of jail-issue peanut butter while working. The inmate was told he butter return to work and not spread his bounty to other inmates.

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A 911 caller reported a neighbor was somehow simultaneously sitting in a car, blaring music and hitting golf balls on the 600 block of Cedar Avenue in Lewiston.

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A Lewiston man dressed in all black leather was reported walking and singing at Fifth Street and Warner Avenue. Reports didn’t indicate if officers identified the individual as an ’80s metal aficionado. The man refused to hide his hide-skin suit or give up his singing career.

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A bird was reported stuck in a Lewiston resident’s chimney on the 1700 block of Third Street. Animal control responded but was unable to sweep the bird out. It’s unknown if the bird was aware of the irony that he flue too close and couldn’t fly out.

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A Lewiston woman called 911 after she found her door broken and was worried someone was inside. Police responded and found the door was not shut right, and nothing was missing.

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A Lewiston man called 911 and reported his son locked himself in the bathroom and couldn’t get out. Firefighters responded and used a pry bar to open the door and save the boy

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A 911 caller reported someone they don’t like spoke to them at Pioneer Park in Lewiston. Dispatchers advised the caller of the “I’m rubber, your glue” solution and not to call 911.

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A Clarkston man called 911 and reported a rattlesnake was “chillin’ ” in the middle of the road at Bridge and Ninth streets. Officers responded but could not locate the snake baskilisking in the sun.

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A 911 caller lodged two complaints against a person using a leaf blower on Madison Street in Grangeville. The caller was advised not to blow the call out of proportion.

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Moscow police responded to a dropped 911 call on Tamarack Drive. A woman called dispatch and reported there was no emergency; a child was playing with the phone.

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A Moscow 911 caller reported there was a “swarm of bees” moving through a parking lot on the 600 block of West Pullman Road. An officer responded and found the bees had settled into a nearby shrub and weren’t hurting anyone, though they might get a little chubbee if they stayed on the flowering shrub.

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A Pullman resident reported he was upset that a neighbor began weed whacking at 6:45 a.m. An officer responded and warned the resident to have a cup of coffee first and delay the morning whacking.

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A 911 caller thought her neighbor’s apartment was being broken into on Southwest Elm Street in Pullman. Police responded and determined it was a dog sitter.

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A number of vandalism calls were eggsecuted recently in Pullman. A resident on Northeast C Street was hit, and the victim suspected he was being bullied by housemates. The caller requested an eggnominous service of justice. A Pullman man reported his car had ben egged three different times on Northeast Merman Drive, which could have been just a slowly built three-egg omelet. A drive-by egging was reported on Northeast Stadium Way, and the victim felt eggsquisite humiliation.

Holm may be contacted at (208) 848-2275 or tholm@lmtribune.com. Follow him on Twitter @TomHolm4.

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