Items in this column are pulled from police logs from around the region.

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A Lewiston woman reported her doorbell rang, and when she opened the door, she found a sack of uncooked rice on the porch and no one around. There was no note saying “rice to see you,” and the police couldn’t find anyone. As a last risotto, they pilafed fingerprints from the sack but couldn’t find any matches for the gumbo mumbo jumbo.

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A Lewiston driver was reported going down Cedar Avenue lighting off fireworks from a vehicle. Police were unable to locate the caustic driver.

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A 911 caller reported a Lewiston man riding a bicycle flipped off the caller and then threw a pop can at the caller’s van. Police arrived and found no damage to the van and couldn’t find the drive-biker.

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A 911 caller reported there is a “feral cat infestation” on the 2000 block of Powers Avenue in Lewiston.

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A Lewiston man called 911 reporting someone stole his 2014 Subaru Outback after he unloaded some groceries at his home on Fourth Avenue. He called back shortly after when he found his car parked in his other garage.

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A Lewiston neighbor called 911 after hearing screams from a home that had a house sitter on Shiloh Drive. Police arrived and found a young man screaming and playing video games.

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A 911 caller reported a “large woman” chased a small child at 15th Street and 18th Avenue in Lewiston.

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A Clarkston man was reported going through a drive-through stall at a bank while drinking an alcoholic lemonade. Police were unable to hold the man accountable as he withdrew from the bank before officer arrival.

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A Moscow woman called 911 reporting construction near her North Jefferson Street home is too loud and begins too early, at 6 a.m. Police spoke to the foreman who had a valid noise exemption for the early work.

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A Moscow man called 911 reporting “there are stupid people around,” and he was ready to kill them. Police advised the man to keep the murder to a minimum, as there would likely be witnesses to wasting the witless.

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A Moscow man called 911 reporting a woman was indiscriminately spreading STDs. Police advised the man they understand why he’s crabby, officers would investigate and the woman is gonohrrealize it’s unethical to spread disease. But officers would get her side and she could say herpes, too — they just want the truth, no lice.

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A 911 caller reported a Moscow woman was sitting outside and was “hooting like an owl” over and over again. Police arrived but couldn’t locate anyone who fit the description.

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A 911 caller reported hearing a “yippie dog” barking all night at Sherwood and Joseph streets in Moscow. An officer responded and did not hear any yips.

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A Pullman woman reported the water at Kenwood Square is bad and made her cats sick. An officer advised her to keep her felines out of the freshwater.

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A moose was reported in the middle of Palouse Cove Road at Mader Road south of Palouse. Whitman County deputies searched the area but couldn’t find the Palouse moose on the loose, so what’s the use?

Holm may be contacted at (208) 848-2275 or tholm@lmtribune.com. Follow him on Twitter @TomHolm4.

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