Items in this column are pulled from police logs from around the region.

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A man walked into a Lewiston hotel and reported there was a naked monkey in the back of the hotel on the 2100 block of Eighth Avenue. A 911 caller reported the man appeared to be high and he was asked to leave, but the man kept searching for the monkey that “obviously (was) not there.” Police investigated and determined there was no monkey in the business and the man was told to move on to other primatters as the invisible monkey was ape-ropros of nothing.

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A Lewiston man was reported running around 19th Avenue with his pants down and high on drugs.

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A Lewiston resident was upset with neighbors letting dogs poop in a shared yard at an apartment complex.

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A 911 caller reported a Lewiston resident was playing talk radio loudly after midnight.

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A driver, with her family loaded up in a car, reported seeing three men urinating on a car on the 2000 block of 19th Avenue in Lewiston. The whole family witnessed the trio but police couldn’t locate the whiz men.

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A carp was reportedly found stuffed in the bottom slot of a soda vending machine at Chestnut Beach in Clarkston. The fish was dead and smelled foul.

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A Clarkston woman reported finding a small pile of poop under a pillow in her home. The woman had two cats but insisted the kitties could not poop and move a pillow to cover up their doo doo deed. An officer was able to convince the woman that cats tend to bury their feces and one of the cats could have pawed the pillow over top of the feces.

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An unidentified suspect broke into the laundry room of a Clarkston apartment complex. The burglar removed clothes from the dryer and damaged the door to the room.

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A Clarkston woman was screaming “bloody murder” for her dog on Seventh Street. It was unclear in reports if the dog was named “bloody murder” or if that described the woman’s tenor. Reports didn’t say if the dog was a bloodhound.

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A Moscow 911 caller reported a neighbor was making “excessive noise” and stomping loudly on the 1600 block of Lenter Street.

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Pullman police responded to a reported egging, but could not locate the sheller as they made a quick getaway.

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A 911 caller reported finding a car with two dead geese inside it on Northeast Linden Street in Pullman. As police responded the caller rang back and reported the vehicle owner removed the geese and police didn’t need to respond.

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A rattlesnake was reported on Southwest Barnes Court in Pullman. Police could not locate the snake despite its hisssstory in the area.

Holm may be contacted at (208) 848-2275 or tholm@lmtribune.com. Follow him on Twitter @TomHolm4.

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